Your ex wasn't right for you!

 Your ex wasn't right for you!

Firstly, to all those sad souls, sorry about your recent break up. Welcome to what is probably the most specific article of this blog. The title implies that your ex, specifically YOUR ex (if you have one;if not, then la dee da!), wasn't right for you. That's quite ignorant of me to conclude, since I don't personally know you, or your ex( unless I'm your ex, in which case, awwkkkwwaaarrdd, because I'm awesome!😘). I don't know why you broke up or whose fault it was, if anyone's. But I do know that if someone is no longer in your life by choice, then they are simply not right for you. Allow this article to be a pizza for your heartbreak. Toppings include extra cheese, paneer tikka and a whole lot of truth.

Human beings do this silly thing where they get into relationships. Not all species do that. A lot of species understand the importance of multiplication. So they pee in certain areas, meet up, get jiggy and nasty with it, pop out some kids out and move on in life. Maybe they howl at each other once in a while. But most humans form relationships and are heavily impacted by them. For simplicity's sake, I'm going to split people who experience break ups into two categories: 

The people who get over things relatively quickly and move on with life, and

The people who are glued to their bed for three months, wearing clothes covered in pickle stains.

This article is for group number two because for them the chances are that a breakup results in them being unproductive, unmotivated and the opposite of what an Amitastic person should be. Why? They are devastated, miss their ex-partner and are confused by how they can ever fill the hole this person left...... in their heart😌. Let's talk about that.

It's necessary to feel your emotions. So if you're devastated due to a breakup, by all means cry it out, stay in bed and scream at her or his picture. We all know that time heals wounds, so I'm not going to convince you not to mourn. What I want to convince you of is that you should be sad about missing someone and being hurt, but you should not be sad because you believe that person was right for you. I'm 99% certain that they were not. If you're in that remaining 1%, just play along anyway. In fact, I might change your mind too. I'm feeling myself!

Let me tell you short and sweet story about a guy named Karan and his boyfriend Arjun. Yes, welcome to 2020, where love wins!

• Karan and Arjun meet. They fall in love.
• Karan and Arjun work together.
• Karan and Arjun spend almost all their time together.
• Karan mostly depends on Arjun and has a hard time without him.
• Karan feels confident because of Arjun.
• Karan loves Arjun more than anything in the world.

Very intense story arc, as you can see. My take on this relationship is that it is pretty horrible and an unhealthy relationship. I know it's difficult to think that a relationship that defines you, makes you feel comfortable, represents love to you isn't actually what love should be. When people tell me about their relationships, they often describe something they believed was "right", but what if that relationship was wrong all along? Yeah, your ex was great and it was a wonderful time in your life, but was this person right for you? When you meet someone new and continuously compare them to your ex, are you comparing them with someone who was good for you, or to someone who simply was familiar and represents what you think love is supposed to look like? Is that a fair comparison?

Well, after reading the story above, I turned the magnifying glass on myself and analyzed my relationship that ended. I haven't been in too many romantic relationships that have scarred me( I'm definitely person number one), but I've had a lot of friendships that have made a strong impact on me. When I was in school, I had a best friend, as most people do, and we were inseparable. Let me summarize:

• Amit meets friend. They become best friends.
• Amit tells his friend everything and vice versa.
• Amit and his friend do everything together.
• Amit doesn't need to make any new friends because he has his best friend.
• If Amit's best friend wasn't going to a field trip, Amit didn't feel like going.
• Amit would believe everything his friend told him and vice versa.
• Amit prioritized his best friend over everyone else.

Amit sounds lame AF. Thank God I'm not him. For some odd reason after school we weren't that close. I started living my life thinking there was this void because THAT best friend wasn't there. After reading the Karan and Arjun's story I had a thought. What if that's not how best friends are supposed to be? I know that seems obvious to you, but the thought never occurred to me. What if I'm feeling that void of not having that unhealthy relationship? Why would I want a friendship that blinds me to the possibility of making new friends? Why would I want to be in a friendship that made me ignore other people?

I most cases, when we miss someone who hurts us, it isn't really because they were right for us; it's that they were familiar to us and represented a certain ideal. It's our attachment to an idealized relationship that is hard to let go of. If your friend lied to you, if your lover cheated on you, or if someone simply decided they didn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore, they are not right for you. It may feel like they are, even though they hurt you, but they aren't. You know who's right for you? The person who is everything you love about your ex, except for the part that hurt you.There are 7.8 Billion people on the planet and it's ridiculous to believe that such a person does not exist.

Your ex can hold a special place in your heart, a small section called "Memories, LOL". You can miss that person, but don't let them define what a relationship is supposed to be. Don't convince yourself that your ex is the only one for you. You experienced one type of love with them, but there are billions of other types just waiting to one-up your experience.😉

   BYE!!!